How Going Sober Changed a Friendship

Even for close friends, alcohol can feel like a ‘social lubricant’. Taking away this crutch can change the dynamic of a relationship, the way we view each other and interact. It can make being real with each other a little scarier, treacherous even. It could throw long-held friendships onto the rocks of judgment and unacceptance without the safety net of the alcohol-infused get-out clause for confessions and not-so-popular views.

When my friend decided to get back on the wagon after 100 days of sobriety and returning to drinking for several months, I wasn’t enthusiastic. The opposite of enthusiastic is closer to where I was. We’d had one catch up with alcohol on the table, and I’d not been able to drink. Now she was sweeping alcohol from her existence and that was that. Things were gonna get real and I wasn’t sure I was ready for real.

I wondered if she was going to become puritanical with her sobriety this time.

The 100 days sober had been more manageable for me. There had been an end in sight. I could support her and count down the days to when we’d chat again over a beer or glass of wine. Now it was a matter of sober forever and damn the consequences. Obviously, she was looking at…